Yes: "Those who believe gender transition is the only way forward will inevitably experience doubt, and if they have been taught that doubt is betrayal, they will have nowhere to turn." And if they cut off their loving parents who wanted to protect them, they really have no where to go.
And yes: "You do not have to affirm what you know is false. But you can be a place of return." I have done this by continuing to send messages of my love, which keeps the door open for a possible return.
But, no discussion is allowed. "If what you believe is true, it will not fear your questions." As mom, I am not allowed to ask questions or discuss gender ideology or medicalization in any way with my kids. So I wrote a book, and for that I have been condemned. Truth is not welcome currently in my family and in many other families.
I see you. Truly. The heartbreak of being kept at arm’s length by your own child is something I know too well. It is happening in my family too. And it is why I have been thinking so much about the middle path. My daughter wants me to hear her just as much as I want her to hear me. And right now, I don’t know how to make that happen.
I feel the weight of what you are searching for. Yes, they will have doubts, even if they cannot admit them. Yes, we can love without affirming what we know is false. But the silence is unbearable. The refusal to let us speak, to ask, to be part of the conversation. That is certainly what breaks me apart.
I don’t have answers, but I have wonderings. I wonder what it means to stay open when the door feels shut. I wonder if love can still be heard when it has nowhere to land. I wonder if the smallest cracks of doubt—hers, mine—are already working in ways I can’t see.
And for me, I have to believe that prayer is communication. That the God of My Understanding is doing something in my daughter that I cannot. I don’t know how. I don’t know when. But I have to believe she is not unreachable. Otherwise, I don’t know how to keep going.
Maybe the only thing we can do is be the place of return. And I get it, that does NOT feel like enough. But I think, in the end, maybe it could be?
Oh yes, we speak of the same things you and I. Thank you. We must trust in a higher power, pray and wait. Holding the door open with love is something we do, sometimes for years. Will we ever see our lost children walk through that door back to us? I do not know, but I will wait until I leave this earthly life.
I hear you. You're not alone. Even one honest, grounded conversation can open a door. May your voice carry both strength and tenderness. And may your daughter feel the love behind it. I'm holding you both in my heart.
This. Your words speak to me so clearly. My current crutch word is "and". I am trying to hold it all, and trying to find nuance, which is often sorely absent in these chaotic times. There has to be room "to hold both". Thank you.
I get that. ‘And’ does a lot of heavy lifting, especially when the world keeps pushing either/or. It’s hard to hold space for both, but it feels like the only way that makes sense. Glad this resonated. I appreciate you being in this with me.
Yes: "Those who believe gender transition is the only way forward will inevitably experience doubt, and if they have been taught that doubt is betrayal, they will have nowhere to turn." And if they cut off their loving parents who wanted to protect them, they really have no where to go.
And yes: "You do not have to affirm what you know is false. But you can be a place of return." I have done this by continuing to send messages of my love, which keeps the door open for a possible return.
But, no discussion is allowed. "If what you believe is true, it will not fear your questions." As mom, I am not allowed to ask questions or discuss gender ideology or medicalization in any way with my kids. So I wrote a book, and for that I have been condemned. Truth is not welcome currently in my family and in many other families.
I see you. Truly. The heartbreak of being kept at arm’s length by your own child is something I know too well. It is happening in my family too. And it is why I have been thinking so much about the middle path. My daughter wants me to hear her just as much as I want her to hear me. And right now, I don’t know how to make that happen.
I feel the weight of what you are searching for. Yes, they will have doubts, even if they cannot admit them. Yes, we can love without affirming what we know is false. But the silence is unbearable. The refusal to let us speak, to ask, to be part of the conversation. That is certainly what breaks me apart.
I don’t have answers, but I have wonderings. I wonder what it means to stay open when the door feels shut. I wonder if love can still be heard when it has nowhere to land. I wonder if the smallest cracks of doubt—hers, mine—are already working in ways I can’t see.
And for me, I have to believe that prayer is communication. That the God of My Understanding is doing something in my daughter that I cannot. I don’t know how. I don’t know when. But I have to believe she is not unreachable. Otherwise, I don’t know how to keep going.
Maybe the only thing we can do is be the place of return. And I get it, that does NOT feel like enough. But I think, in the end, maybe it could be?
Oh yes, we speak of the same things you and I. Thank you. We must trust in a higher power, pray and wait. Holding the door open with love is something we do, sometimes for years. Will we ever see our lost children walk through that door back to us? I do not know, but I will wait until I leave this earthly life.
And all the bereaved mothers will wait with you, hopeful in their prayerfulness
Also, I am reading your book right now. And it's so important. Thank you for sharing what you know to be true with us.
Thank you. I share to connect and empower others.
You have successfully done just that. Connected and Empowered.
I’m crying as I read this essay because I think of my daughter who’s entrenched in this gender cult.
Thank you for the enlightenment. I am encouraged to have an honest conversation with my child…
I hear you. You're not alone. Even one honest, grounded conversation can open a door. May your voice carry both strength and tenderness. And may your daughter feel the love behind it. I'm holding you both in my heart.
This. Your words speak to me so clearly. My current crutch word is "and". I am trying to hold it all, and trying to find nuance, which is often sorely absent in these chaotic times. There has to be room "to hold both". Thank you.
I get that. ‘And’ does a lot of heavy lifting, especially when the world keeps pushing either/or. It’s hard to hold space for both, but it feels like the only way that makes sense. Glad this resonated. I appreciate you being in this with me.